How to ask an Advocate to hold your boss’s brief
“Good morning, sir. I know you are very busy but allow me to steal only two minutes of your precious time.
My name is Paul from the firm of Odhiambo & Associates, the very same firm that conceded to your proposal for an out of court settlement in the Kajiado land matter, a courteous move that deepened your pocket. May I also remind you that we are the very same firm that convinced Vera to compromise for a 50-50 liability in an accident case where she sued you for knocking her left bum, which part of her body you contended was overlapping on the road. You surely must agree with me that our firm is a friend of yours.
Sir, apart from our office-office friendship, as an individual, I admire your advocacy skills and take you for a role model. Since my days in college, I have always hoped to be a guru of your stature. I always tell my friends that though you are not famous, your soberness in the bar is unmatched. Your articulacy is revered. Your confidence when addressing the arbiters inspires many and your convincing power, in this small church of ours, leaves no soul unconverted. In fact, I always wonder why they give those attention seekers time on national TV to analyze issues that God had entrusted only your brain with.
I know you won’t believe this. Our constitutional law lecturer, the famous Prof Lukoye oftentimes reminded us of your undergraduate days. He told us that you used to teach your classmates on days he could not make it to class. He equated your brain to a Sportpesa jackpot winner’s luck – a gift to one, an admiration of many.
May I also add, as we wait for the magistrate to walk in, that you are the next big thing in this country. Law students celebrate your wit, your age mates fear meeting you in court, you guide senior counsels, and clients will soon flock your offices.
Don’t be troubled by this man who is appearing against you. He probably doesn’t have any idea what kind of legal material you are made up of. He will only make noise, waste your time through the entire hearing but at the end of it all, he will collapse at the foot of the tower of your intellect.
Now, sir, the file I am holding is on a matter coming up for a mention…”
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